A FetLife alternative with its rules written down.
Coywink is a private social network for the kink and BDSM community: writing, groups, munches and play parties, photos with rules, and moderation you can appeal. If you are looking for a FetLife alternative, here is what is the same, what is different, and what we do not have yet.
About two minutes. A handle is all anyone needs to know you by.
If you are leaving because
- a post of yours vanished and nobody said why
- If we act on something you posted, you get the rule we applied in writing and a way to appeal to a different person. Silent removal is on our list of hard limits.
- you were never sure who could see your profile
- Every field, every photo and every kink you list has its own audience: members, friends, your partner, or no one. Your last-seen stays hidden until you turn it on.
- the site felt stuck in another decade
- Built for the phone you are holding. Add it to your home screen and it behaves like an app, with notifications, and no app store between you and it.
- your data felt like the product
- Your profile, photos and messages are never sold, never used to train a model, never mined for ads. Your email is stored only as a one-way hash, and there is no field for your name.
- you wanted real events near you, not a feed about them
- Munches, play parties and workshops by city, listed by the people who run them, and a venue directory where nobody pays to rank. RSVP and choose who sees that you are going.
What you will recognise
The shape of a kink community is the shape people already know. You will find it here.
- Writing: stories and long-form posts under a handle, and a feed of the people you follow.
- Groups by kind: kink, lifestyle, community, support, with moderators who write their rules down.
- Events: munches, play parties, workshops and club nights by city.
- Photos: explicit photos of consenting adults are allowed, each with its own audience.
- A profile that says what you are into and where you stand on each: curious, into it, switch, soft limit, hard limit.
What we do not have yet
Said here so you do not have to find out after signing up.
- A native iOS app. Apple does not welcome platforms in this category, so the phone experience is the installable web app.
- An importer for your writing from elsewhere. For now, it is copy and paste.
- Paid tiers. There are none yet; everything on the platform is open to every member.
- A crowd. The room is new and real, which means quieter than a site that has been open for years.
Questions people ask before switching
Can I bring my writing with me?
Yes, by hand. There is no importer yet, so you copy each piece into a new post or story. Your writing stays yours and lives under your handle.
Do I have to list my kinks?
No. The kinks screen at signup can be skipped, everything on it is optional, and each pick has its own audience.
Are explicit photos allowed?
Yes, for adults, with rules. Everyone shown must be an adult who agreed to be shown. Each photo has its own audience, and it never reaches an ad auction or a training set.
What happens if something I post is removed?
You get the rule we applied, in writing, and a way to appeal to a different person than the one who acted.
New to the words? Read what kink means, what BDSM stands for and how a fetish differs from a kink.
Nothing to migrate. A handle is the whole first step.
Leave whenever you like, with one page in your settings.
FetLife is a trademark of its owner. Coywink is independent and not affiliated with it.