ENM and poly dating, with your relationship shape on the profile.
Coywink is a private dating site for ethically non-monogamous people: polyamorous, open, solo poly, relationship anarchists and the curious. Your structure is a profile field and a Discover filter, partners link by invite, and three or more can join as a poly pod.
Over 18 only. A handle is all anyone needs to know you by.
How to find your people here
- Relationship structure
- Monogamish, open relationship, ethically non-monogamous, polyamorous, closed poly, solo poly and relationship anarchist are all options on a profile, and Relationship is a Discover filter, so you meet people who want the same shape.
- Partners and pods
- Link a partner as a couple, or create a poly pod for three or more and invite the others one at a time. Or stay solo; a profile does not have to show anyone else.
- New to it
- Here for: Exploring marks people who are just starting, so someone opening a relationship for the first time is easy to find, and easy to be.
From a profile to a first date
- Your profile
- Say your structure, link partners if you want to, and choose who sees each field: members, friends, partner only, or no one.
- Interest and the match
- When interest runs both ways, it is a match, and your messages land in each other’s main inbox. A first message from anyone else waits in requests until you say yes.
- The real conversation
- Talk about the rest of your lives early: who else you see, what your partners know, and the agreements you already have.
- The first date
- Somewhere public, with time you actually have. Poly dating runs short of time more often than it runs short of feelings.
Before a first date
- Say your structure in the first conversation, not on the third date.
- Ask about existing agreements: veto, hierarchy, safer sex, and how much partners share with each other.
- If someone is partnered, it is fair to ask whether their partner knows. Non-monogamy without that is cheating under a new name.
- Be honest about how much time you have. It is the scarce thing, and the thing most first dates leave out.
- Safer-sex agreements cover everyone in the network, not just the two of you.
- Compersion is lovely when it comes. Jealousy is normal when it does not, and worth talking about rather than hiding.
What we do not have yet
Said here so you do not have to find out after signing up.
- A map of a whole polycule. Pods link three or more people on one profile; wider networks are friends with their own audience.
- A native iOS app. On your phone, Coywink is the installable web app: add it to your home screen and it behaves like one, with notifications.
- A crowd in every city. The community is new and real, so some cities are still quiet. Nothing is seeded to look busy.
Questions people ask first
What is the difference between ENM and polyamory?
Ethical non-monogamy is the umbrella: any relationship where everyone knows and agrees that it is not exclusive. Polyamory is one kind of it, where more than one relationship can be romantic, not only sexual.
Do my partner and I have to join together?
No. Each of you can have a solo profile, link as a couple, or join a pod. Linking is by invite, nothing links until both of you accept, and either of you can unlink later.
Who sees my relationship structure?
You choose. Every field on your profile has its own audience: members, friends, partner only, or no one.
Is Coywink free?
There are no paid tiers yet, so everything on the platform is open to every member. If it is not for you, one page in your settings deletes your account.
New to the words? Read what ENM means, what polyamory is, how an open relationship works and what compersion means.
However many of you there are, you are welcome here.
Leave whenever you like, with one page in your settings.